The Arrangement Part 9 and a better story

[spacy]

So part 9 of the arrangement has been posted - and in this one we find Avery having text-*** with someone she thinks she knows. All very well and good, however, I was drawn to the series because she became a call-girl and wanted to read of her experiences with clients, not about her angst over the bitchy roommate and unrequited feelings. Were I writing the story it would have begun with her much younger, at an exclusive all female boarding school, where she is recruited into service at Madam Blacks Bordello, beginning as underage arm candy/party decoration for wealthy older men. After coming of age (16) she has her virginity auctioned off and becomes a s** toy for an exclusive clientele. Eventually she and another girl, of the same age (18-19) are hired by a presidential campaign, where they are known as "Frick and Frack" and service the candidate, when he is on the road. Some months into the campaign the candidate is assassinated and the two girls are abandoned, by the campaign, and left to make their way back to New York on their own. At this point a wealthy married donor to the campaign picks Avery up and takes her to his NY penthouse where he offers to make her his mistress. Avery accepts and eventually has a daughter by him, she names CoCo. The series would end with CoCo, who is not attending the same exclusive boarding school and knows all about her mothers ****** career, being introduced to Madam Black. The arrangement part II would then follow CoCo as she pursues a career similar to that of her mothers.

[twiggy23]

I think it might be Miss Black, I think she really needs these girls. So I think she will try to blackmail Avery.

[spacy]

What could Madam Black blackmail Ave into? Prostitution? Taking on walk in clients? For the amount Madam Black is requesting for Ave's services she exercises remarkably little control over how she prepares for her dates - and equally little control over Ave's clients. The author should spend more time on that interaction and less on the angst - besides if Ave is earning in the four figures for each date she could afford to get away from bitchy roommate - maybe move into the brothel full time. That would make a more interesting story line.